you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
