How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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