i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
