oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
