either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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