I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
