I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
