why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize