we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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