Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
