My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
