we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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