I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
