Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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