It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
