Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
