youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
