So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
