I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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