Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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