Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
