He is an equal opportunity slut.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
