Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
