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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
