the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just google imaged poop.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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