We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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