I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
