even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
