yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
