how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
