We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
