It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize