i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
pray to the hookup gods
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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