just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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