"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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