Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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