yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
