I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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