I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
