kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
