you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
