all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
