Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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