no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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