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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ok first of all what the fuck
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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