Define "chronic" masturbator.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
