she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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