i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
