spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
