Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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