Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
