Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
