Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Houston, we have a blender
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize