i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
