what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
