So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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