yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
