dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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