at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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