dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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