If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
