i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
