9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize