i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
